Last week I made a drastic change... I CUT MY HAIR! 7.5 inches to be exact! I know, I know, it's just hair but being someone who's most drastic hair change in the last 25 years was getting bangs (definitely not the best idea for my usually frizzy locks), this cut is more than just a physical change for me, it's also a mental release.
Having long hair has always been sort of a security blanket for me and probably a lot of people around the world. I've always heard people say 'Oh My Gosh! Is that ALL your hair?' and 'Your hair is sooooo beautiful, you should never cut it.' Hearing statements like these have always made me appreciate having such lushes locks, but also made me question why it was such a major signifier for what made me "beautiful" in the eyes of others.
***Okay... I'm about to get a little deep with you guys, so bare with me...***
Being both mixed and having dark skin has always put me into a unique category. Either I was not "Black" enough because I was mixed or I wasn't "Mixed" enough because I was too dark. But the one thing that everyone seem to gravitate towards was my hair, and subsequently that's the one thing that has constantly made me "feel" pretty and accepted. From guys calling me "Pocahontas," (And no, this is not an acceptable comparison and/or complement) to my grandmother literally crying at the thought of me trimming my hair, my hair has had major significance in how I'm viewed by society and ultimately how I see myself.
If you look at TV screens or on instagram and even YouTube, there's tons of people that are praised on their long flowing hair. Girls go to great lengths (pun intended) for weaves that reach all the way down their backs to be "noticed." I have noooooo problem with weave and actually love seeing women slay, but it definitely makes me think that there is an over emphasis on what constitutes beauty.
When we can look back and see icons like Audrey Hepburn, Dorothy Dandridge and Rita Moreno, rocking the big screen with a gorgeous short 'do, I know embracing the short-ness is the right way to go. I'm happy that there are celebrities out there like Kim Kardashian, Jessica Alba, and Ciara (circa 2013) who've embraced the short sexy cut and are praised for the bold changes. It gives a different look to what is and can be sexy.
I've been thinking about cutting my hair for a while. Not just because I want to look different from the crowd, but also because I feel like my security blanket has become more of a nuisance rather than something I enjoy. From the constant frizz and the bad hair days to the I just can't figure out what to do with this mop, I'm just over having long hair at the moment. But, my biggest fear for this new look had and still is a little, will I loose my "special sauce," that makes me FeliG...
You're probably think, "this chick is totally out of her mind," but being really real, I have been extremely afraid of what people will think if I cut my hair.
Taking this big step and cutting so much of what has literally been apart of me forever, took a lot of courage, but I feel an extreme weight lifted off of my shoulders because, I've realized that my hair isn't what makes me beautiful. What makes me beautiful is how I feel about myself.
Yes, there is a possibility that I will start crying a week from now because I miss my long hair, but we'll just have to wait and see. I will forever be grateful and blessed for what is able to grow out of my scalp, because there are plenty of people out there who aren't as fortunate, but my hair is not what makes me me.